Chilkat Valley News - Serving Haines and Klukwan, Alaska since 1966

On Sept. 12, Ethiopia celebrated Enkutatash, the country’s new year. While Ethiopians around the world welcomed 2016, it was just another rainy Tuesday in 2023 for Haines residents.

While much of the world follows the Gregorian calendar, Ethiopia’s Julian calendar system is approximately seven years and eight months behind.

“I’ve never been to Ethiopia, but I can imagine what it’s like there. Just the other day I saw someone walking down the street with their Walkman, flipping through a phonebook,” said local teen Sammy Smitherson.

Her friend, Fireweed Miller, chimed in, “Yea, and my parents just had a heated debate about the coal-fired power plant that the borough wants to develop here in Haines. They tried to fax a letter to the editor, but apparently the new staff at the paper only respond to email, Instagram DMs, and NFTs with encrypted digital content.”

Enkutatash celebrates Queen of Sheba’s return to Ethiopia from her visit to King of Solomon in Jerusalem. Families usually attend church in the morning then feast on injera, the nation’s staple spongy, pancake-like flatbread, and doro wot, a spicy chicken stew.

87-year resident John Hacker said he doesn’t get why the community should care about Ethiopian new year.

“Where is Ethiopia again, is it in Asia?” he asked. After explaining where Ethiopia is, and that Africa is not a country, Hacker’s memory was jogged.

“Oh right! I went there in 1987 to spread the word of our Lord and to share the message of Jesus’ love.” When asked if he was aware that Ethiopia is the second oldest Christian nation in the world, Hacker responded, “Yes, but they worship some sort of brown Jesus, we wanted to make sure they were worshiping the right guy.”

Some people, though, are in a more celebratory mood. Local resident River Aurora McKinley-Denali, said she is celebrating because Ethiopia has a special place in her heart. “I took a two-week service trip there in college. I taught ESL, and while we only got through a couple chapters of the curriculum, I really think I made a difference.”

She plans on making her own injera, and hosting a bonfire at Chilkat Lake. “Bonfires are a core part of Haines’ cultural identity, and knowing that over 7,000 miles away, Ethiopians are celebrating the new year by dancing and singing around bonfires makes the world feel so much smaller and more connected.”

McKinley-Denali said she plans on playing Beatles classics like “Come Together” and “Here Comes the Sun” on her harmonica at the bonfire.

Haines Herring is a weekly column of local news parody.

Send your Haines Herring submissions to chilkatnews@gmail.com